Навіщо. What For - Марія Старожицька

Scene 1

Theseus (sitting in front of his computer screen)

— August 24th. The main headlines. “Roofer-extremist Hryhoriy, known as Mustang, painted part of Moscow University’s roof blue and yellow to say Happy Ukrainian Independence Day.” Hope he made it to Kyiv. They’ve been searching for him in Moscow for 2 days. The star he painted was very high up. There’s a military parade on the Khreshchatyk. Petro Poroshenko says, “These latest events will be called the Great Patriotic War of 2014…” Well, he didn’t call it the Great Patriotic War [Soviet term used instead of World War II, refers to 1941-45 only, ignoring the years of the Nazi-Soviet Pact]. I guess that means that he thinks it’s a small war… And it will end by New Year’s Eve… Let’s hope that happens… “The military hardware will go straight to the front after the parade, to the Anti-Terrorist Operation.” This is all a big show… Who needs this, we’re all getting sick of it… Yes, some unwelcome guests have come to our Independence Day Party. “On the morning of the 24th Russian tanks attacked Starobeshevo. Fighting between Starobeshevo and Kuteinikovo. Dozens killed, many wounded in the battle in Yelenivka…” Hey, look, there’s a regatta on the Kyiv Sea… Except that all our seas are being taken from us, and no one is batting an eyelash… Oh no… “Ukrainian Prisoners-of-war were paraded on Donets’k’s main street, Artema St. Then they brought out street cleaning machines to wash down the pavement. So that it would look exactly like Moscow in 1945…” These people are really sick. And who were those locals who watched, and cursed our fighters? Have they really always lived among us, on our land? “Donbass” press service cancels invitation to journalists to celebrate Independence Day with the fighters near Kurakhovo. The Battalion is in mourning. Some of their comrades were killed while withdrawing from Ilovais’k… They seem to be holding out well: “The volunteers control half of the city, the half that they liberated from the enemy. The city is divided by in half by a set of train tracks. They have taken up a strategically advantageous position in a school…”

Scene 2

A classroom in an Ilovais’k school. Headquarters of the volunteer battalion’s intelligence service. Tables, manuals, a globe, a blackboard. Veles walks up to the blackboard and writes: “24 August. Assignment.” Then he steps back and admires what he wrote. Laurel climbs up on a desk and hangs a Ukrainian flag above the blackboard, but yellow side on top. He jumps down, also picks up a piece of chalk, and writes “Happy Independence Day.”

Veles (looks at the flag)

— Turn it right side up!

Laurel

— It is right side up!

Veles

— What are you talking about?

Laurel

— The sun is on top and the sea is underneath it. This is the way the flag should be hung. I turned the flags right side up like this on the Christmas tree on the Maidan.

Veles

— Didn’t you have anything better to do?

Laurel

— What do you mean nothing better to do? By the way, why didn’t I see you on the Maidan?

Veles

— I had things to do in Donbas.

Laurel

— Sure! And now we all have the things to do here. OK, now do your assignment.

He walks up to the board and writes, in capital letters, "HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER."

Strilka

— Hey, guys, don’t argue. All Laurel did was climb up on a Christmas tree. Today someone climbed up a high-rise in Moscow and painted its star yellow and blue.

Laurel

— Amazing! Give me time and I’ll leave my mark on the the Kremlin...

Slon

— Back home, we always go to a barbeque on Independence Day.

Laurel

— Is that like going to pick up girls, Slon?

Slon

— No, it’s like a a kind of picnic.

Veles

— We call that a it ‘shashlyk’, Slon. Shash-lyk. Is that where you fry your turkeys?

Slon

— No, we do that on Thanksgiving Day.

Laurel

— What sort of holiday is that?

Slon

— Well, you help the poor, or whoever needs help, and they’re thankful to you for that.

Laurel

— I get it! Volunteer’s Day!

Everybody laughs.

Slon

— We also have this competition on Independence Day where everyone tries to eat as many hotdogs as they can.

Laurel

— I could eat three dozen right about now… Veles, let’s go see if we can catch some pigeons for our holiday meal. Elf tried some yesterday, he said they were better than chicken…